


Capturing you

by derenai



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-04
Updated: 2012-11-04
Packaged: 2017-11-17 23:38:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/554466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/derenai/pseuds/derenai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Esteban wants to try his new camera with Xabi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Capturing you

 

"No", Xabi said firmly.

"But…"

"I spend enough time in photo shootings; I don't want to pose also in my free time."

Esteban looked down to the brand new Canon he was holding in his hands. Xabi had never talked to him so coldly. He felt he had crossed a line, violated an agreement he had tacitly accepted at the beginning of their relationship. His stomach twisted. Then, against all odds, Xabi gave him a chance.

"Why do you want pictures of me, anyway?"

Truth being out of place, Esteban hesitated.

"To practice. I need a model."

"I'd rather you find someone else."

Esteban shrugged, looking as indifferent as possible and trying to ignore the lump in his throat.

"As you wish."

Silence settled. Esteban put the camera on the table. He wished he could find something to say, anything, to end the tense atmosphere between them, to hide his pain. He didn't have to search for long. Xabi's face came closer to his.

"I know a much more interesting way to keep ourselves busy."

Xabi's lips crushed his hard and Esteban knew there wouldn't be room for tenderness that night.

***

The first light of dawn was filtering through the curtains when Esteban woke up. He glanced at the body lying next to him. It was rare that Xabi fell asleep at his place. Esteban knew, though, that if he found sleep again, he would wake up alone. So he wanted to enjoy this moment. He looked at the skin that the sheets revealed, memorized the curves, the lines the muscles drew. It was maybe the closest thing to happiness, Xabi naked next to him and no need to hide his feelings. He would never have more than these moments, way too rare. Sometimes, he wished he could go back in time, to when they were only friends who spent their evenings talking about everything and nothing. When Xabi hadn't seen in him a way to fill his emptiness. But still, for nothing in the world would he end this relationship. It was too late. The wounds were already there. He only needed to prevent them from opening wider, even if it meant they wouldn't heal.

After a few minutes, Esteban stood up. He left the room to come back in with his camera. He opened the curtains a little to have light but not enough to wake Xabi. Heart pounding in his chest, he made some settings, trying not to think about what his friend would do if he caught him. He looked though the viewfinder, adjusted his framing and pressed on the shutter release. The noise of the shutter seemed as loud as the rumble of thunder in the silence of the room. Xabi didn't move. Slightly reassured, Esteban checked the exposure of his photograph and took a second one. He was ashamed. He felt perverse. He needed it, though. Needed to keep something from Xabi for the day the Basque would leave him. Because he would leave him, there was no doubt about it. He needed to keep something more from this relationship than the bitter feeling of having been used. Needed to have something from Xabi as he would never have his heart.

Esteban took a few more pictures, and then put his camera back where he had left it. And when he closed his eyes, lying next to Xabi, he silently cursed Liverpool.

  
  



End file.
